I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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