im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What did we do last night that was yellow?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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