how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Someone signed my nipple.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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