it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
