just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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