If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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