Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
