He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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