i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
