is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
