Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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