You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
