I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
