yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
