its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
