420 ftw
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
