My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i think i have two assholes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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