Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
