Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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