found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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