If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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