Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
