Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
