dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
