Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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