just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
