Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
