im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
