Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
