you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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