she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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