Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
