well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
