Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pants are for mortals
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
