I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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