so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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