It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
