her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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