...so i touched it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I believe in your delicious
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
