I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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