dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
