sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
