he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
