I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
