If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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