Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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