i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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