problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
