I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
