I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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